I'm sad.
Today, I went to the cementary. I realized already that it's been a month since his death. And he was a veteran. So it's like a double wammy. And I can't believe that he's actually dead. I always knew that this day was coming, I should have been grateful for all of the extra time, because he was suffereing. I remember how he looked, and those sad eyes, and I wish that he was still here.
It's a thing that I cry about at night.
I often wish he would be able to walk me down the aisle, or at least see me walk down the aisle.
I wish that I would be able to be happy like he said.
I wish that I had someone to help me be able to do so...

Oh, and happy 11/11/11. Boys ask a girl out. Because being asked out today would be the most romantical thing on the planet. And I'm almost at 15,000 words :)